Being a Mom...

{look how blue Ryan's eyes look when he wears a blue shirt & how green they look when he wears green...I think that is so cool.}

The boys first week of school is almost over. One more day, and they will have one week under their belts. They are really enjoying it so far. Not one bit of homework yet...so that's a big hit. The past few days our weather has been HOT. We had 93 degrees today, but at least the humidity has gone down.

Today I picked the boys up after school and I treated them to ice cream. Let them know how proud I am of them and how I'm so glad that they are enjoying their teachers, friends and school. Robert has ADD and some learning difficulties, but he is expressive and bright. He still goes through many evaluations, extra work, etc., etc., and I can say that the road isn't always easy, but he's doing great. Tim and I keep a close eye on his strengths & weaknesses and we try and build strong relationships with those who can help us. We are confident that we are doing everything to help/guide him through his struggles. What counts at the end, is that he is a happy, loved, well adjusted little boy.

I'm getting used to having kids in school full time. It is wonderful in one sense, and in another sense...it's hard to "let go." Until I became a Mom, I didn't realize just how vast my capacity was for worry, love, fear, guilt, protectiveness, and even rage. Since becoming a mom, my priorities are reordered...everything reshuffled. My whole center of gravity shifted when I became a mom. My values, beliefs, and habits. My faith has grown stronger and my love deeper.

I think back to the early years when they were babies and how much I've learned since then. I guess it was like when I first went into labor that first time...you realize you don't have any control---you can either fight it or learn to work with the new rules. I realize, too, that the "control" thing will just slowly keep slipping away as they get older and older. I'm trying to keep everything in perspective. I have discovered how much fun it is to rediscover the child within. I love watching the kids learn new things and make new discoveries about their world. Of course, some not so good (death, heartache, disappointments, etc.,) but mostly wonderful.

Even though I now have a big second & third grader in school, and a busy three-year old at home, I still have more days that are a lot more exhausting, rather than exhilarating. Still trying to get my "groove" back (yes...there's a book about it and I have it!) and I'll keep striving for balance. Now that I type that, I think I need to ask myself..."hmmmm, what groove and what balance?" I may have to redefine that, too. It's all fine with me. My dear mother had NINE children!...God Bless her soul as she rests in peace.

It's all good...this journey of being a mom.